Sunday, March 8, 2015

Shine brighter

Marianne Williamson once said, and I quote
“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.”

Much of my life I have felt compelled to help others... though most of the time I found myself not knowing HOW..., or when I did try and “help” it was by telling them how I saw their current situation and how I thought they should change... and as you can imagine, this, in most cases, back-fired on me... only to end up putting a strain on my relationship with the afflicted person! What is a girl to do when you want to see someone you care about reach their potential...? When you see all that they can be and they don’t see it...

After being the surviver of a very challenging relationship with my mother ...I came to the conclusion that my approach was all wrong...

After her death I went through a very deep grieving time period and felt crushed by the survivors guilt over my near obsession with rescuing her from her health and depression problems for decades. I cried...no actually I sobbed non stop for months...I even sobbed in my sleep so deep was my pain from feeling that I failed her. 

I decided to turn my judgement on myself instead of on everyone else..So, I asked myself, “Are you living up to your own potential, are you being all that you can be in this life, with all the talents, skills, and blessings placed at your feet?”

It hit me like a ton of bricks what a hypocrite I had been all these years! Who was I to pass judgement and measure others against their own potential when I had HARDLY lived up to my own?

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Why did it seem so easy and clear cut for me to find a way out of whatever problem someone else was going through, no matter how big or small, and yet when it came to my OWN issues, even the smallest of challenges would bring me to my knees, and instead of facing them head on, what would I do instead, why I would divert my attention to someone else who needed my “help” more as a way to avoid having to face failure or truth about my own life.

Truth is I lied to myself about who I was, what I cared about and what my dreams were to fit the mold of what I thought others expected me to be. Ever do that?

Truth is there have been so many times I’ve dimmed my light for friends that I thought were fun or “cool”, even though they stood for nothing that I believed in... and at times I dimmed my light so low that I forgot WHAT I believed in.
I spent years wasting talents & blessings that God bestowed on me by using them selfishly... and then judged others for how they used theirs... How fair is that?

One day I found myself seeking guidance and ended up in a room with a therapist. I kept going on and on about how I wanted to HELP my mom or HELP my friends... help, help, help, help... You know, as long as I was trying to “help” people... that meant that I wasn’t selfish... So I had a good thing going for myself... That is, until she stopped me and said, “You know, you cannot “help” people to do anything that they, themselves, are not ready to do... The way YOU will help people is to become more of yourself. By you facing your fears of what others might think of you if you were to become authentic to who you are destined by God to be, you will, without even trying... give others the courage and permission to become more of themselves... Blast your light into the world without any shame and be true to who you are in all aspects of your life and like-minded and like-spirited individuals will flock to you!

That was, by far, the best advice I have ever been given.

I cannot say that I changed overnight... or that it was or is still is easy, because so much of what our society attaches itself to is idealism, perfectionism, and elitism. But I can say, that when you do concentrate on your own personal growth, dreams, and even your own problems... there is some empowering and inspiring about that and others DO take notice and follow suit, not to copy what you are doing, but to live life as you do... Authentically.

Never apologize for who you are or mold yourself to be what others expect. Dream amazing dreams and don’t let anything or anyone stop you or try and tell you that it won’t happen for you..., because deep down, you know it is in your DNA, that someday, some way, YOU are going to do something great with your life, (Thanks you Anthony Robbins) Your life is bigger than you know or are aware of... Every day you choose to give your light unto this world, you inspire others to do the same.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”- Ghandi

If you want the world to be a better place, it all starts with being a better YOU.

Amy Amidei
CEO and Chief Troublemaker
Family Tree Fitness
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